A Worship Leaders Confession: I May Have Led You Wrong

My dream as a teenager was influenced by Chicago, Dan Hill, Toto, and any other groups that produced love songs. The string arrangements and digital keyboards would move me and have significant influence on my state of mind. Years later Church gave me an avenue to fulfill the dreams of my teenage years. I learned to sing "Love Songs" to God.

Being a young Worship leader I learned there was power in what I was doing. It felt good. What I did and the songs I chose could cause a physical and emotional reaction in those I was leading. All Worship leaders and singers verbalize that it is for the Glory of God. But was it? Take a moment and analyze yourself. Did/Do the crowds response positively or negatively affect you? If so, then there was/is self involved. We all want to do a good job, especially since being a Worship leader are some peoples primary source of income. We unintentionally teach others to be showman. If not, then our perceived performance/effectiveness would not be based on congregants response and Church growth.

While performing (I am saying performing because I realized that is what I was doing), I often found myself feeling empty, while those I ministered to, or performed for seemed to touch the gates of Heaven and bask in a Glory that I seldom experienced. My heart was for good, but was I really deep down seeking approval of any talent I tried to exhibit? Were the praises of the people for God or for me? I am confessing, that there were times it was for me...it felt good.

Becoming a Worship Leader in a Black Church was amazing and revealing. Learning the importance of fashion and branding further took me down a path of self glory. I would sit on a Hammond Organ and play while the Pastor preached. At the time it was amazing. When a white guy sits on a Hammond Organ and plays like a Black musician, he is guaranteed to stand out and be recognized. It was like a drug to me. Playing and leading became a "Look what I can do" session.

Here is where I feel I led many wrong. I felt like I had to create an atmosphere for worship. Unknowingly, I was attempting to use music to manipulate people into worship. I installed amazing sound and lighting systems to mimic the concert experience. If the sound guys forgot to turn on the effects, I would be furious. I even convinced a Pastor we needed to turn the lights off. I was more focused on experience and emotion and orchestration than message and true corporate worship. MUSIC IS POWERFUL. I am not/was not alone. Today, this mentality is the norm not the exception. Of course we don't want to believe that about ourselves or about our Church. I was trying to recreate what I saw on TV.

MUSIC IS A MANIPULATOR. I love music. I am learning to analyze my intent. I currently attend a Church that for the most part I did not like the song choices. Most of the songs are very wordy and do not move me like I am use too. Another confession...Our Worship leader is choosing sound doctrine in song over experience and emotion. I get that now. His heart exhibits a pureness, and his song choices exhibit wisdom.

Today there are false prophets and teachers everywhere. Their music ministries are producing amazing music services that Churches all across the World are trying to mimic. Why are we presenting music to our congregations from Churches founded on false prophecy and teachings?

At the time of this writing, I am unsure if I will ever choose to lead Worship in church again. If I do, there will be changes. I will be different.

To any Worship leader reading this:

• Do we seek God for songs or do we look for those that we think will move people?
• Does the crowds reaction affect us positively or negatively?
• Are the songs we choose biblically sound?
• Can we have worship without technology?
• Can we give a below average singer with an amazing heart of worship a platform?
• Do our websites, and or social media feature us or Christ?
• Is fashion and branding a focus?
• Would praise and worship suffer if we turned the house lights on?

Let's get back to Amazing Grace...