When you love Jesus and Titties: Things we don't talk about

First of all, If you are offended by this title stop reading now. Most likely you have a legalistic view of Christianity and this post will not help you nor will you ever be able to help those who struggle with secret sin...

In 1995 I got a Compaq computer with a modem, setup my AOL account and accessed the Internet one evening. Chat rooms were the beginning then one curious keyword search would prompt never-ending pop-ups of pornographic images. Next thing I new it was daybreak. I had spent hours looking at sex. The pop ups came so furiously and I could not exit them to the point I had to unplug the computer. 

Not long after that night, it happened again. Bored and sitting in the basement the click-fest started. Finally I had to shut the computer down because I was about to be late for choir practice. 

A few years later, clicking through channels I came upon a free-month of HBO and Showtime. Late one night scanning channels I saw titties. BIG ONES. For a few hours I would scan through each movie channel hoping to see more. 

I realized quickly two things I must do. First, I set up a password for content restrictions where I would have to take a second step by willfully entering a password before accessing explicit content, and I asked DirecTV to remove the movie channels. I needed safeguards set-up because my will power was so weak.

I confessed to my wife that I have viewed pornography that previous evening. She was shocked, but graciously listened to me, understood and forgave me. 

I read the book "Every Man's Battle" and even had my wife read it. I explained to her the pressures and temptations that I faced daily. Even though I do not act on them, it doesn't stop their onslaught on my mind. She and I came to an understanding that brought us closer than ever. 

Today, we avoid Rated R and MA movies. If we were to watch one, we review the Parents guide on IMDB to see if it has sexual content. If there is nudity, we don't watch. Does it always work out? No. On instances we come across content and I simply do my best to look away or to fast forward through it. 

Why do I do this?  When I check out other women, subconsciously, it takes away from how I view my wife. When I control my eyes, her beauty is amplified. Her body satisfies me more and more. This is because I have not satisfied my desires elsewhere. She has become the object of my lust. You don't believe me? If you took an honest look at your life you would learn it does you too. Viewing nudity and sexual content on TV gets the heart pounding and has a temporary feel good moment. But afterwards leaves you empty and shameful...if you are striving to follow Christ.

This is one of the things Christians don't talk about much. A secret sin that allows you to still be in the choir, on a keyboard or even teaching a class. 

I thank God that each failure was just for a moment. However, there are those they are under lust's power non-stop and cannot break free. If that is you. Find another man that you can trust. Men, should talk about this. Christians should talk about this.

The Bible says that we were born into sin and shaped in iniquity. The Bible also says "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."

A Worship Leaders Confession: I May Have Led You Wrong

My dream as a teenager was influenced by Chicago, Dan Hill, Toto, and any other groups that produced love songs. The string arrangements and digital keyboards would move me and have significant influence on my state of mind. Years later Church gave me an avenue to fulfill the dreams of my teenage years. I learned to sing "Love Songs" to God.

Being a young Worship leader I learned there was power in what I was doing. It felt good. What I did and the songs I chose could cause a physical and emotional reaction in those I was leading. All Worship leaders and singers verbalize that it is for the Glory of God. But was it? Take a moment and analyze yourself. Did/Do the crowds response positively or negatively affect you? If so, then there was/is self involved. We all want to do a good job, especially since being a Worship leader are some peoples primary source of income. We unintentionally teach others to be showman. If not, then our perceived performance/effectiveness would not be based on congregants response and Church growth.

While performing (I am saying performing because I realized that is what I was doing), I often found myself feeling empty, while those I ministered to, or performed for seemed to touch the gates of Heaven and bask in a Glory that I seldom experienced. My heart was for good, but was I really deep down seeking approval of any talent I tried to exhibit? Were the praises of the people for God or for me? I am confessing, that there were times it was for me...it felt good.

Becoming a Worship Leader in a Black Church was amazing and revealing. Learning the importance of fashion and branding further took me down a path of self glory. I would sit on a Hammond Organ and play while the Pastor preached. At the time it was amazing. When a white guy sits on a Hammond Organ and plays like a Black musician, he is guaranteed to stand out and be recognized. It was like a drug to me. Playing and leading became a "Look what I can do" session.

Here is where I feel I led many wrong. I felt like I had to create an atmosphere for worship. Unknowingly, I was attempting to use music to manipulate people into worship. I installed amazing sound and lighting systems to mimic the concert experience. If the sound guys forgot to turn on the effects, I would be furious. I even convinced a Pastor we needed to turn the lights off. I was more focused on experience and emotion and orchestration than message and true corporate worship. MUSIC IS POWERFUL. I am not/was not alone. Today, this mentality is the norm not the exception. Of course we don't want to believe that about ourselves or about our Church. I was trying to recreate what I saw on TV.

MUSIC IS A MANIPULATOR. I love music. I am learning to analyze my intent. I currently attend a Church that for the most part I did not like the song choices. Most of the songs are very wordy and do not move me like I am use too. Another confession...Our Worship leader is choosing sound doctrine in song over experience and emotion. I get that now. His heart exhibits a pureness, and his song choices exhibit wisdom.

Today there are false prophets and teachers everywhere. Their music ministries are producing amazing music services that Churches all across the World are trying to mimic. Why are we presenting music to our congregations from Churches founded on false prophecy and teachings?

At the time of this writing, I am unsure if I will ever choose to lead Worship in church again. If I do, there will be changes. I will be different.

To any Worship leader reading this:

• Do we seek God for songs or do we look for those that we think will move people?
• Does the crowds reaction affect us positively or negatively?
• Are the songs we choose biblically sound?
• Can we have worship without technology?
• Can we give a below average singer with an amazing heart of worship a platform?
• Do our websites, and or social media feature us or Christ?
• Is fashion and branding a focus?
• Would praise and worship suffer if we turned the house lights on?

Let's get back to Amazing Grace...

How to Kill an Atheist Without a Weapon

I recently learned that a friend of Facebook was an atheist. I emailed him with the premise of "Did you ever believe in God, and if so, what changed?" The response was overwhelming and something that I have never encountered. I fired my best shots and guess what? I failed...sort of.

So knowing the potential for more rejection, I posted on Facebook and requested for anyone who did not believe in God to message me their email address, that I had some questions. I received five messages. Four atheists and one who doesn't believe in the Bible, but does believe in God and His son Jesus.

I received four email replies and one face to face conversation based on the following questions.

1. Did you ever believe in God and His son Jesus? If so, what changed? What happened?
2. How do you view the Christian Church?
3. How do you view Christians?

The responses were heartbreaking. This is what they had to say in relation to the questions above.

Responses to Question 1

" I always questioned why we did what we did and why I was considers [sic] a lesser human since I was a female, why my brothers could be alter boys, but I couldn't since I didn't have a penis, etc."

"...since my brother "disowned" me Christmas Eve when I was 16 since I was questioning the core of his values). He didn't apologize until I was 30 and his wife made him see that I'm a good person who loves him, his kids, and her.  But he still doesn't have anything to do with me,"

"......people saying that everything is "God's will", especially in bad situations like the death or illness of a child...but I cannot accept that there is a God that could but doesn't prevent some of the most evil occurrences such as mass genocides, babies being tortured and killed, etc."

"Secondly, as I was growing up, many of the kids that I attended public school with who regularly attended church and youth groups and such were both A) incredibly judgemental [sic] and B) incredibly hypocritical. On one hand, I would be judged for either not attending church/youth group (later in high school), or attending the wrong church (early in high school). I once had a girl tell me quite seriously that she learned at church that I would go to hell if I didn't believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible...That same girl was a giant pot head. A lot of the kids at my school that I heard "talking the Christian talk" were often not particularly nice people, got drunk regularly, did drugs, and some were even pregnant before graduation. My close friends and I however, none of which went to church or claimed any particular religion, were great students, were super active in the community, and had tons of fun and were happy despite never touching drugs or alcohol. To me as an 18 year old, everything that I was seeing in my experience with Christianity was just distasteful and drove me away from it."

Responses to Question 2

"The Christian church is a business just like wal-mart, but they are selling salvation rather than widgets."

"...I see all organized religions as a way for the few to control the masses. Like most institutions it comes down to power and money."

"Eh, most denominations mean well, but in my experience the church creates a lot of very narrow minded, judgemental [sic] people who like to force their views on others and don't necessarily follow the true message."

"I've looked at a lot of churches and the majority of them seem to have focused on the Bible being a rulebook, and they teach about how to follow all the rules exactly. Others seem so much like a song/dance/show, and a place to see and be seen, that the whole point of church is lost. Both of them seem to miss the point that I get from what Jesus showed us, and that's love for other people."

Responses to Question 3

"I know many good Christians who go above and beyond to help those in need.  I also know significantly more who are hypocritical, judgmental, lazy, and down right mean."

"I decided that even if there was a God he was not likely to appreciate church goers who didn't believe in him at all but showed up occasionally "just in case"."

"I'm also tired of what I call the "Social Christian", and those are the ones that go to church every Sunday but they're only there because that's what they're "supposed" to do, and the extent of the Church's impact on them ends when they walk out of the building. The ones you're surprised to learn go to church because they sure don't live like it: gossiping, refusing to give anything to the poor, judging everybody. Or the ones who treat church like the social event of the week and are just there to see and be seen. But the second you tell them you don't go to church, they're suddenly all taken aback and offended that they're even in the presence of a "heathen". I feel like there's a lot of Christians by name only but they don't seem to be living it."

What Hurt the Most- the following was at the end of one of the emails.

"And I also fully expect for you to dislike me now since, just like Muslims, by not believing I [sic] your God I am inferior.  Which is a catch 22 because a good Christian should see me as good human being who goes out of my way to prevent suffering and spread love (I am a vegan mind you!) but a good Christian would also understand that being good is far less important than simply believing blindly."

Do you see a pattern here? I SAID DO YOU SEE A PATTERN HERE? We Christians say and do some of the stupidest things. We have our own "churchy talk" that makes us look like complete fools. We play church and even post videos pretending the spirit of the Lord is on us. We joke about the "HOLY" Ghost and think people aren't affected by it. When bad things happen or we don't get what we want, we say "well it was or wasn't God's will..." Yes God has a will for our lives however he allows us to make choices. If every movement we made was God's will or not then we would simply be robots. Bad things happen to good people. How do you answer someone who asks if there was a God, then why do all these bad things happen? We are some of the meanest people, and some of the worst employees. We use God as an ATM always tying everything to financial gain. Yes I want to be blessed financially however WHAT WAS THE PRIORITY OF JESUS? Financial gain? NO! It was seeking the lost. Church, we have lost our first love. 

So how do you kill an Atheist without a weapon? Just keep doing what most of us are doing. Because, if we believe what we actually say, then they will enter Hell. Yes it was ultimately their choice but which one of us helped shape their decision?

Did I successfully lead any of the respondents to Christ? No. I did a lot of apologizing to them. I planted some seeds. Please water my seeds.

The Greatest Failure of Christians

1. We do not share Jesus.

2. We do not know why we believe what we believe.

3. We do not live according to what we preach.

He's to die for?

If a loved one such as a spouse or child were being held at gunpoint, would you step in and take their place, even if it meant you would die? Easy answer right? Would you take the place of a good friend or a co-worker? What about someone you have never met personally? Think about this next question real hard before you answer...If you were held at gunpoint and told to renounce Jesus or being a Christian, would you? Here's one a little harder. What if it was your child about to suffer the consequences of your decision...would you renounce Christ?

SYRIA

In an article on www.breathecast.com, Jeannie Law reports the following: 

According to Sister Raghida, the Muslims came to the two youths and said, "So you want to die as a teacher in whom you trust? Please choose: either to renounce (faith) or you will be crucified!" The boys both refused to renounce faith in Jesus Christ and were martyred because of it. One of them was crucified in front of his father, who was then killed. The nun went on to tell the radio station that the Jihadists entered the city of Maaloula and started killing men, women, and children. According to her report, they killed and played football with the heads of those murdered. Sister Raghida also said the killers took pregnant women and pulled out the babies from their wombs and hung them from a tree by their umbilical cords.

IRAQ

Christians have lived in Iraq for around 2000 years along with Muslims. Under Sadaam Hussein they enjoyed many freedoms. According to Al Jazeera, this coexistence is no more:

The Islamic State group has threatened Christians in the Iraqi city of Mosul with death if they do not convert to Islam or pay a tax, Al Jazeera has learned. The Sunni rebel group issued the orders in a letter after Friday prayers. The document, obtained by Al Jazeera, states that the order was issued after Christian leaders failed to attend a meeting called by the group. In response, the group says in the letter that Christians must either convert to Islam, pay a tax on non-Muslims known as jiziya, or give up their posessions and leave the city. Failure to do so would result in a death penalty, "as a last resort".

While the above is bad, it gets much worse. ISIS is moving through Iraq slaughtering men, women and children. Today my eyes will never be the same. I saw a picture of a little girl with her head cut off. I cannot even force myself to imagine that it were my child, my son.

AMERICA

There is much talk of Christian persecution in America. I have seen posts on Facebook scoffing at the idea of "Christian Persecution". While Christians in America are not being killed or tortured, that does not mean persecution is not taking place.

Oftentimes before horrific events take place there are usually precursor's. Incremental change eventually leads to complete change, even without people realizing it. 

As I peruse Facebook, I see a few posting the atrocities taking place in Syria, Iran, and other parts of the world. However, I see many who seem to be completely unaffected. Maybe its because the reality is to great and they do not know how to handle it? Or like many things, they don't seem real because it is so far away. Christian or not, these are humans targeted for a label/life they chose. I'm not sure that I can be as I was 2 months ago. Everything changed for me when I saw the picture below.  Leon Watson of www.daily.co.uk posted a story with this pic.

Back to my original question... If this was your child, would you renounce Christ to save his/her life? I really want to cuss right now and say something to get your attention. WOULD YOU RENOUNCE CHRIST! I am serious, please answer this question.

References

http://www.aljazeera.com/news/middleeast/2014/07/iraq-christians-told-convert-face-death-2014718111040982432.html

http://www.breathecast.com

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2609711/Syria-burning-Assad-orders-ELECTION-critics-say-simply-rig.html

The Mark of the Beast?

1995 is where I began my Christian walk and began to study the Bible. The country church my family attended was the typical hellfire and brimstone type preaching. Oftentimes the sermons were on the Rapture of the church with references from the book of Revelation. The thing that stood out the most to me was the scripture on the Mark of the Beast (666). 

Revelation 13:16-18 (NKJ)

• 16 He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, 
• 17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or[f] the name of the beast, or the number of his name. 
• 18 Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.

Thats pretty scary...there will be a time where the only way to buy and sell is if you have this "Mark of the Beast" affixed to your right hand or forehead? Well obviously after reading this you would be a fool to take the mark, right? I mean if the Government came to the south and told everyone they must take this mark there would be a true civil uprising. So how will this happen?

Massive change does not happen overnight. It is a gradual thing. Since 1995 I have wondered about the Mark of the Beast. I see how it will happen now.

A sign of the "End of the World" is that there will be a one-world government and monetary system. Look at our political environment today. What do you see taking place? universal health care, global trade and markets, electronic transactions, Internet, etc...

Have you heard of RFID Chips? RFID Chips are not science fiction. These devices about the size of a a grain of rice can be implanted into humans which may contain your medical history or virtually anything else. Recently, I saw a YouTube clip of a sermon by Perry Stone about the RFID Chip and it's implications relating to taking the Mark of the Beast.

Pastor Stone and many others on recent Internet postings claim that Obamacare has a mandate that all will eventually be required to have such a device implanted containing our medical history/information. 

So, I decided to research this for myself. I stumbled upon the site Obamacare Facts This site was designed to explain to us and answer all our questions, and dispel all myths about Obamacare.

Interestingly enough it has a large section on the "Myth" about the requirement on an implantable RFID Chip. Here are the ObamaCare RFID Facts, directly from the site...

obamacarefacts.com

• There is no mention of a mandatory RFID implant in the Affordable Care Act, but there was in an early version of the law HR3200.
• RFID chips are real and there is more than a decade's worth of legislation pertaining to their use.
• The only reference to "chip" in the ACA is CHIP (Children's Health Insurance Program).
• While the ACA doesn't allow for data collection from class II devices, it does contain wording pertaining to electronic data collection to improve the quality of care and better coordination between doctors including SEC. 3015. DATA COLLECTION; PUBLIC REPORTING.
• It is very reasonable to think that in the future all Americans will elect to have RFID chips or legislation will be passed that mandates RFID chips. Not only could they monitor your health status, they could be used as GPS, a means to transfer currency, cell phones, computers, etc.
• Like the use of drones and other advents of technology that could potentially be used to control the population, the implications of RFID devices need to be discussed openly by the public. The way we regulate RFID chips and their usage will determine the dangers they pose to us.
• Despite the risks implants pose, the potential health benefits of being able to collect and monitor your health via a RFID chip could be a very useful medical tool that could drastically help people and revolutionize our ability to treat patients.

Ok...so there is no current mandate in ObamaCare requiring these implantable chips. But there was in the previous version? So according to the site there is no mandate yet there is paragraph after paragraph and a couple video's explaining the benefits of an RFID Chip implant.

How do you bring about change? Slowly. We are not mandating, however, this is a good thing...It's not evil...this can save your life. One day we wake up and realize its not so bad. Remember when on TV you NEVER saw a man and woman in the same bed together. Have you seen network TV shows lately. Slowly and incrementally we become desensitized to things. What was once called taboo, we now call art, freedom of expression, and entertainment.

Is the RFID Chip the Mark of the Beast? I do not think so. Is it a step in the direction of it? Most definitely.

Reader beware...If at any point you are mandated to take a mark on your right hand or forehead in order to buy, sell, or whatever...DON'T DO IT. Lift your eyes to Heaven and say this..."Father God, I believe Your son Jesus Christ came to this earth, died for my sins, and rose again on the third day. Please forgive me for all my sins. I believe. Save me." 

Revelation 20

4 And I saw thrones, and they sat on them, and judgment was committed to them. Then I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their witness to Jesus and for the word of God, who had not worshiped the beast or his image, and had not received his mark on their foreheads or on their hands.